13th June 2023 - Life n Grimes of Mr C

Today's tune, is a cover by Joe Cocker

There are so many great covers of this song, but for me, Joe just adds that something extra.........

At this stage I do not know how or if I can/want to say I am sorry, as I just do not know were I am from minute to minute.

As No one contacts or comes to see me, whilst I cannot get out, I am sure no one cares either.
On the other hand if someone turned up, could I see them ????

Why oh why is my life so fucked up???

Oh I know why, some bastard decided it would be a great idea to murder my son and destroy me as well.

the government decides that I cannot get any medical help, as they refuse to give the health service the money it needs to actually help people like me, to hopefully get back to being good/healthy productive people once again...............

would I be as bad as I am, if we had a grave I could visit?
I do not know, as altho I am desperate to go to were some of Tim's ashes were placed, Everyone is determined to stop me getting there.

So another let down yesterday as the transit is still waiting on parts, that we still do not know if they will resolve teh issues!.

Sorry am I fuck at this stage, all I can see is darkness and now Ken is not answering the phone, so I just do not know what the fuck is happening to the only small hope I have of wanting to carry on surviving.

I can only presume he is pissed off with me ringing practically everyday, as they rarely ring me back like I say.

As I have no contact with anyone else, I do not know where I can take teh transit too to get sorted, after all if they asked me early in teh morn, I could have brought the parts and had delivered teh withing 24/48 hours! instead of this constant waiting and fighting the black dog..................

and again I am extremely disappointed to wake up this morning, just to face another day of hurt n pain, that I do not want to face.

I am now so close to just calling it quits on the transit, as it is now 3 months late and I am still stuck in this hell hole, on my own, with no support or help from anyone.

I am not even sure I want any as I just want to end it all and get my disappointing life to end, without the same failure that I have lived it.

I went outside for  bit last night, but could not cross teh road as my legs were so painful and everytime I tried to step forward the cars just stopped coming..........

failed yet again

All teh knives in teh house are blunt as breeze blocks and I cannot get the workshop door open, so I can sharpen them!.

as no one is here, it would mean it would be all over in a few mins, without anyone caring.
If I can find some strength I will try again in a few hours, but for now its back to bed as I am so disorientated and confused