Good Morning Folks.
Firstly many thanks for the private messages that you have sent me, they mean a lot. Even those who do not agree with my ramblings here.
But to those who want to know how they started?.
Back in 2012 just after we lost Timothy, i needed a release, were I could just let my fingers type away and reveal my thoughts ETC.
Yes, they will appear on here, but that Facebook account got hacked and I lost everything, except that I made weekly backups. Unfortunately the Hard Drives they were stored on went bad. But I have since found a bit of software, that is allowing me to recover some of the data from them, and the hard drive, that I have been talking about on here and sometimes in "Various Hobbies/My Computer" is showing positive signs of not only recovering some of them ramblings but also some of the replies, which I will shortly start to add in this album in the appropriate years.
Now I have a big problem with them, as I never read what I type in these ramblings, and still have not done from back then.
Probably because they would be too painful for me to read or understand.
Now to add them to this album, means I will have at least gonna have to clance at them as I cut n paste or actually read them them, and to this day I know I am not strong enough to do so.
Even today, altho maybe not as profound or thoughtful as back then, I still do not read these updates.
For me they have to come from my heart n soul, to give me that release my mind craves.
For those that know me well, understand I am not a person to speak my thoughts and keep them bottled up, but September 14th 2012 broke all the barriers in my mind and almost destroyed me, and these ramblings from my fingers are the release that hopefully in time, will allow me to accept and move on with my life if its possible.
Right let's move on to today's update.
Last night I noticed that Lynne had packed some bags and she was gone when I woke up :( :(
To me it is desertion and means to me (and I believe) she just cannot cope with me anymore.
And I probably message things to here that hurt here, I do not know, as I am left in a void of nothingness when she is not here with me, I know things are not good between us, but I cannot understand or seem to do anything about it.
Things are what they are, But since going round to see Donald and Val, just maybe I have found some positiveness, happiness, forgiveness or what ever.
That night we laughed and remembered like I feel I have not done in over 10 years, eve at the time that Donald and Me got into big trouble with our wives (see Scotland remembrance trip in "Trips out 2013"
When I left there around 1amish, I was in a very positive frame of mind, that I have said I will go back soon (sooner than they think as it will probably be every week !)
The biggest thing I have found is if I can get down to my workshop, I start to potter around Tim, as you will see by this weeks updates. and altho I am struggling with concentration and at times trying to force my way thru a huge vacuum, something is happening, but it all disappears when I walk back into this house.
Last night as I went to bed on my own, I cried to myself, I hated Lynne for not being there!.
Even if we are not talking or are upset with each other, to feel here beside me, eventually sinks thru and settles me down.
Now My talking about my issues is never gonna be resolved, but for me I have this release.
Does Lynne read these ramblings, I do not know ?.
But if she does, I hope it helps her to understand just how confused wrecked and broken that I am and just maybe, she can understand me a little and maybe even forgive me all the shit That I put here thru.
To make things worse at the moment as the invites go to those we love and good friends, it appears a whole community, of our life will NOT be with us and that is hurting so much...
But we will just have to accept that and try and make Tims 10th Anni of passing & his 38th Birthday a special day for those who will be with us, or those that knew Timothy thru his work at Morrison's who have left us in no doubt that we and Tim are in there thought's..
Right lets move on, with other updates from today !
Cbrtim Build Album.
14th September 2022 - CBRTIM Updates - ADDED
15th September 2022 - CBRTIM Updates - ADDED
Various Hobbies/Workshop Photo Album.
9th March 2014 - Various Hobbies - Workshop Update
26th february 2014 - Various Hobbies - Workshop Update
House and Garden 2022
Photo Album created.
14th September 2022 - House and Garden Update - Added.
Vincent - Kawasaki 1500 SE - Photo Album.
14th September 2022 - Vincent - Kawasaki 1500 SE - Vincent Update added.
All Things N.A.B.D!
3rd Creatures Any Spare Change Rally 2009 -
Those we have helped get back on the road. - Album Created.
Added PDF Article from Open house - of Mark Crossleys - Yamaha Raptor.
Added PDF Article from Open house - of Nicks - Honda Shadow Trike.
26th February 2014, Mags4NABD SOLD.
Life n Grimes Photo Album. - Updates.
15th September 2022 - Life n Grimes - ADDED
16th September 2022 - Life n Grimes - ADDED
Other Vehicles Owned Photo Album
13th March 2014 - The Big One - Update - ADDED
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