24th April 2023 - Life n Grimes of Mr & Mrs C

Not After sympathy, but I need to vent as things have just piled up with one thing after another!.

It will probably read with me be silly and stupid, but the black dog has I hope just made things worse.

It all stated when Lynne said we would have half term together working on teh van and then going away in teh transit for 4-7 days towards the east coast to a camp site, as the conversion would not be completed.
But it would allow us to test what has been done and also nip in to see Emma n Timothy at the same time.

But Lynne just fucked off as soon as she broke up and with my eyesite really bad and not being able to eat as my throat had closed up I just went to bed and tried to beat the black dog and the symtoms with sleep!.

We virtually had no contact when she came back, so I stayed were I was all alone and trying to sort things out.

Then the transit went wrong again, this time as soon as the ECU was cleared the error would come back and now only on 1 cylinder, and that drove me further into dispair!

Again No contact with Lynne and I stayed out the way in the bed..

Onne night Some potaoe got stuck in my throat and I couldnt breathe I knocked loudly on stair doors but no one came!
Luckily just managed to get to the sink pour a little bit of watter down my mouth and managed to gurgle enough to free enough of the food so I could breathe a bit and then I threw up!.

Still no one came to help me, and I now realise that I am really on my own and my family does not care anymore!

Finally I was just about well enought to get teh transit down to Kingsway Tyres and they diagnosed teh fault for me, and some questions on Trnsit forum from people I know have teh same model and year transit as me.

No.3 Injector has open fault

Green/white wire rotted away

The wires around teh starter motor are very tight and is a common faultly arear as the wires rub against the starter motor!. 

Unfortuently Kingsway No longer have teh staff who could solve teh issues for me and I again sunk into a pit of dispair!.

The following week, I managed to find someone who could fix it but they wanted 2k and that was only an estimate !!!

Now I have no money of my own anymore, so I just could not afford that so once again the black dog has me in his hands and I have just about lost all the will to carry on.

we are not speaking, I just have nothing to say and with what happened over easter and since has made me realise, that if I ever got the transit done and headed to Scotland that Lynne would not bother to come n see me on holidays as we discussed!.

So my focus started to change once again to just doing enough to the transit to get me to Scotland so I can somehow get upto Fey Donalds Mine and lay down around teh ashes of Tim that were scattered there in 2014.

I have brought myself an earn, so tha the ashes of Timothy (that we have left can be mixed with me, and I hope my family will take them back to Fey Donald Mine and leave us there in peace, as I cannot find any here.

It will mean me breaking my promise to Lynne, but as she does not seem to care, I do not see any issues.

Yesterday I spoke to Ken and said That I cannot afford to replace all the inectors, and for him to do the bare minimum to get me to Scotland, as I have no plans of coming back or surviving the winter.

But the Transit refuses to start, so I posted for help on my FB page and have got a breakdown truck coming later today to take teh transit to Ken's at Wrangle.

My speach is still very bad, my eyesight even worse, most of awake time can only see 50% of vision all from my right eye.

I am still struggly to eat and managed pretty much on mashed potato with tomato sauce, I have tried other foods, even under cooking them slightly so they not crispy, but often sticks in my throat.

 
I weighed some disco items that SOLD over teh weekend and weight myself, fully clothed well under 25 stone!

But as could see loads of saggy skin on my thighs and belly and arms, I knew I had lost a fair bit of weight.  

So now I have finally realised, that I am on my own, altho trapped in the house as not enough money to get transit sorted, I am hoping now I am starting to come to terms with this, that I can slowelly start to list the rest of teh disco as I can and hopefully get it SOLD off.