26th June 2023 - Life n Grimes of Mr C

Extremely nervous today, will Dave come Saturday as planned ?
will the Transit be repaired ?
The waiting is driving my mental health nuts with worry and stress.

3 bottle of Peach Snapps later and from what Lynne has told me I threw the bottles down the stairs smashing them.

Lyyne came up and too kthe last bottle away and I just flipped and lost it as bad as I ever have.

Somehow I managed to get to teh drain down teh road and next thing I know I am just about to step in teh water and Zoe is there!.

The Police turn up not long afterwards, not that I remember much, so relying on what I have been told.

The upshot was Dave Jones not turning up was teh last straw for me, but I cannot even end my life successfully.

The way the police were talking I thought I was gonna be taken to a padded room (for my protection!!). but in teh end they got thru to the crisis management team and They will be coming over teh next few days to evaluate me, I could still be taken into hospital, but we will see.

I am very tired my legs hurt me so much from the excertion of getting to the drain.  

I spent a lot of yesterday in bed as usual, but got up when teh crisis team turned up, but it soon became to much for me, so went back to bed..

Today Like yesterday I may look and sound very calm, but I am at boiling point underneath, and I know it will not take much for me to explode once again.

Never again will I reach out for help!  

And to make things even worse lost another great friend (Dave Jordon) from the old B&D days at Peterborough to Cancer.

Party hard m8 and I will see you real soon.