Good Morning Folks.
Today I awoke to find my mood has flatlined!.
Knew it would not last, but am very grateful for the few days of peace I have had, hopefully it will come back again real soon.
Today was mainly spent working on my computer and an issue, that has been frustrating me, but fingers crossed will have it sorted when a new PSU arrives, hopefully tomorrow (5th Oct).
Only time will tell, if I have finally sorted the issue, but fingers crossed.
I did nip into the garden for a while as well, just to sit n think with Timothy, which helped me out no end, and some of the peacefulness came back for a short while.
BUT
My mind just cannot deal with 2 issues that refuse to leave me alone!. They may be small issues to most people, but for those like me they are mountains.
1. Monday Morn I reached out to Lynne for a quick comfort hug, but she said she had to get to work. (is work really more important than my health n well being ??)
2. I ask Zoe to come round, so I could sit n talk to her about something that's affecting me, but she didnt reply till Tues evening, when she says mon-wed she has no time...............
I understand she has a life, but at the same time I am confused, As I know if I do not do things when the time is right for me, then I just do not have the strength to do it any other time.
I am not blaming people, because they have lives or work, but how it affects me and drags me down to the pits of hell, just confuses me, and as I have found out from other black dog sufferers or those who have lost children.
Probably gonna get in a lotta trouble now, but I cannot stop being truthful as to how I am, otherwise whats the point of me doing "Life n Grimes) ?
As there is no other support or help from health service as they just do not have the staff or funds, which I am sure is why people like me think they just don't fucking care!
Neither am I vain enough to believe that people read my rants, which is ok by me, as they are not included on my website for anyone else than me.
It is my outlet and release, but on the other hand if these ramblings help just 1 person who is suffering or opens a small crack for those NON Sufferers to maybe just get a glimpse into our worlds and maybe just understand a little bit then it's worth it.
As i have said to those who have asked me, why here and not back on farcebook!
Because this is more private and when I pass on this site will disappear a year after I pass on.
As for facebook, most will not notice any difference, but as I pull of the information I want to add on here, the posts and photos ETC are slowly being deleted, before closing them down entirely....
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