8th June 2023 - Life n Grimes of Mr C

Today's Tune is - Heart - Alone

Today my feelings are of being let down, ignored, not wanted and that I am all alone, all because teh gas & Electric top-up that I did yesterday did not work, because British gas was having issues.

I tried to ring British Gas customer services, but they could not understand me, due to my voice n throat having a bad day, plus something about needing someone to put some info into our gas/electric meters.

I broke down and closed that call in shame.............

Phoned Lynne and she refused to answer my calls, even posted on farcebook for help locally, but no one replied.

My Kindle was flat, my phone wasnt working as no internet ( I do not use sim but wifi) but of coarse that was down! 

So in teh end I just gave up and went to bed and cried myself to sleep all alone and in frustration.

This is a major reason I have to get away from here and from those who pretend to help me. But don't as they cannot cope with me but are to stupid to reach out to get some help.

Lynne has proven once again that work is more important than me! didn't bother trying to reach the kids as I know they will not help.

The shame of it is, I was starting to get hope back over the last few days, as things with teh transit ( See Today's Update ) was looking better and Lynne n me had started to talk, But today that was all shattered once again!, and it just gets harder for me to cope understand or even want to live.

When Lynne finally got home, I went for her with the attitude that I had buried as I just did not care anymore, coming back.
I tried to hold it back but could not!!. 

So now I know that I need to get out of here as quick as I can.

I did some tidying of the transit items in the kitchen, for 2 reasons, 

1. to find Vincents parts
2. So as soon as I get teh transit back, I will be going to Scotland withing a week or two!!!

Will Lynne come during the holiday's I doubt it very much as she has constantly proven to me when I am in the bed, that out of sight is out of her mind and she can carry on laughing and joking with the kids.

Yet I still know that I lover her as much as I have ever done, but these days not as husband and wife, that dies soon after Timothy passed..............................

I really miss the comfort, but thats gone as well as I cannot bare her to touch me, let alone me be around her for any period of time............................