9th - 11th October 2022 - Life n Grimes

8th October - I know there is already an "Life n Grimes" for Saturday, but as what I have decided I am gonna do started here, when I dropped in on Val & Donald after driving well over 100 miles and still all the rubbish is in the back of our transit.

I did not intend to stay long, I just needed a break from driving and was a little on the tired side, but it turned into around 5 hours duration.

As well as the usual laughter n stories, Val has a habit of noticing when things are right !

and then getting you to talk, something I desperately needed.

I said that next spring I am going to Western side of Scotland, as I need to get away from our home, as I know it is causing me so much of the grief I am suffering..

So I somehow have to finally deal with all the grief and the fight with the black dog....

My plan was sorta multi fold, 

1. I am quiet happy to go on my own, but would be over the moon if Lynne came as well. But it would not stop me if she didn't.

2. The time in Scotland will be open ended, as I just do not know if I will find what I am looking for, or how long it will take.

here are the 3 options that I have decided 100% on ( and will not be changed)!

1. If I cannot find what I am looking for and start to live again, then I will go to Fee Donald's Mine and just lay down next to Timothy's ashes and give up. 

2. will be driving around to various places and if I am happy will see about finding a place to live.

3. If I find what I am looking for and feel ready to come home, then come back home even if it's just for a short while.

Obviously to do the above, I am gonna have to sell everything I own, to get sufficient funds to afford this, anything around £8.000 - £10.000 as a minimum.
 

Sunday 9th October -  I finally broke and spoke to Lynne and also told here about my plans above! and a few other things, it's a start and hopefully I can keep talking to Lynne and that we can work together on the above plans.

I will have to wait n see what she decides, but a minor change would be wait till Summer Holes.

We discussed a few other things,

but then she had to go out and help Michael unload the transit as I had a possible buyer for the transit coming on Monday...

But at last my plans have started to bear fruit, I just hope that it will last as I will need to start listing again in the next day or so,

To start to get the funds together.

Monday 10th October - Spent the whole day working on my computer (will add in Hobbies - Computer Album soon)
But when I got online started to research possible places to stay.

I have no wish to stay in one place, but everything will be played by ear, as that is the only way I can think to help me try n re find myself.

The possible buyer for the Transit turned up, but offered less than a 3rd of what I want for it!. 
So I said I will keep it as I am not gonna give it away.

I had been looking at poss buying a camper, but with a budget of around 5k max, there is not a lot out there and none were as new or in as good condition as our transit.

So we will be keeping the transit and will somehow finish the conversion ourselves. (better the devil you know).

At the moment I still cannot see any light in the tunnel to recovery, but weirdly I feel a little bit more positive, if not happier...